


the breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames

by ritarepulsas



Series: talking 'bout bad girls [5]
Category: Power Rangers Dino Thunder, Power Rangers Mystic Force
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:55:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25431238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritarepulsas/pseuds/ritarepulsas
Summary: Choosing goodness requires more strength than embodying evil. A revelation Nikki was not prepared for. While her life as Dark Mistress of the underworld feels like several lifetimes ago, it’s more than a simple adjustment for her to start fresh at her age.
Series: talking 'bout bad girls [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842049
Kudos: 1
Collections: Bandora's Box Ficathon 2019





	the breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by tabby's review on my last fic. her mind is a powerful thing.
> 
> the entirety of power rangers owes me for attempting to create something out of the nothing they give me by not developing these villainesses at all after reforming them. nikki primvare, i don't know you but i love you.

Choosing goodness requires more strength than embodying evil. A revelation Nikki was not prepared for. While her life as Dark Mistress of the underworld feels like several lifetimes ago, it’s more than a simple adjustment for her to start fresh at her age.

But then she catches Leelee, on her way out the door to a movie night at the Rocca’s, or smiling to herself as she recalls how her day at community college went, and it serves as a reminder that it is all worth it.

The life they’ve created in Briarwood is a quiet one. Their condo is homey, the two of them collaborating on every inch of decor to ensure that it feels authentic to them. Nikki hadn’t known a good night’s rest until her first night in an actual bed. She wakes up refreshed, with the freedom of being able to do whatever she wants.

For the first time in her life, her relationship with Leelee feels right. They tell each other everything, both of them fascinated and inspired by the most mundane of human lifestyles. They go see movies, read books, go hiking in the forest. 

She wishes it felt like enough, their fresh start, the life she deprived Leelee of for so long, but then Leelee hugs her and kisses her cheek with no warning and tells her she loves her. They never used to say it and now they say it after every conversation.

And then there’s Toby. He takes her out to concerts, exploring Briarwood’s music scene. Tiny, crowded bars, with loud rock music and cheap beer. They sway together among the crowd, letting the music guide them into the early morning. 

She nestles her head into his neck, he wraps his arms around her waist, whispering each lyric into her ear. How he knows the words to even the most independent of bands is beyond her, but it’s one of the many things that makes him magical to her. He’s fun.

Everything is as it should be, but she can’t help the nagging feeling within her. When she has a moment to herself, sitting by the window with a book, staring at a nearby bouquet on her end table. An otherwise picture of perfection.

She’s bored.

It’s a confusing emotion for her, as she feels excited by life most of the time. But it’s there, a constant murmur at her thoughts. How her life could be idyllic and hollow at the same time.

To quiet the sensation, she gets a job at a bakery via a recommendation from Rebecca, Chip’s mother. Learning recipes, creating something with her hands, it feels good. She’s bad, at first, but gets the hang of it quickly. The smiles on customers’ faces as they walk in, smelling the aromas of pastries and fresh bread, satisfy her in a new way.

One day, the bell above the door goes off and a woman enters. Medium height, long black hair, with piercing brown eyes. As she scans their selection, Nikki can’t help but stare. A sensation pulls her to walk over.

“Good morning,” she greets. The woman looks up, flashes her a polite smile and then resumes browsing. Nikki stammers, not usually one to hesitate, but this woman’s grace has left her hands feeling clammy. “Might I suggest a bear claw? Fresh from the oven.”

She smiles. “I’ll take it,” she grabs her wallet from her purse, as Nikki carefully grabs the best looking bear claw from the bunch and slips it into a pastry bag. 

The two of them migrate down to the counter. Nikki hands off the bag in exchange for cash. As she grabs change, she feels her window passing. She tries to sneak a look, but is met with eyes on her. She lets out a laugh, handing back an assortment of nickels and dimes.

“I’m Nikki,” she greets, sending her a smile. 

The woman smiles back, holding out a hand. “Elsa.”

Nikki’s eyes light up. And there it is. The sensation. But of course. “Wait, Elsa as in... Mesogog?” She instantly regrets her choice of words. She would hate for anyone who recognized her to bring up Morticon. 

But Elsa doesn’t seem to mind. She gives a surprised laugh and nods. “That was a long time ago.” There is no hint of resentment or anger in her voice. It’s as if Nikki had just asked her if they went to high school together.

_ What’s that like? _ , she wonders. To be fully on the other side.  _ True growth and enlightenment _ .

She laughs with Elsa, though she isn’t sure why. “Of course, I get that, I’m Necrolai… or was.” She clarifies. It’s weird to discuss their old selves in a public setting, but it’s not exactly a secret.

She benefits from Nikki looking so drastically different from Necrolai. Everyone knows, but it’s not an immediate reminder. She can’t imagine being Elsa, or Divatox, Rita Repulsa, Astronema. Their faces were so prominent. It would just make everything harder.

Now it’s Elsa’s turn to stare in shock. “As in, Queen of the Vampires?” She gives Nikki a once over, most likely trying to picture her as her furry former self.

Nikki laughs. “The one and only.”

“I knew visiting Briarwood would be interesting, but I wouldn’t have guessed this,” Elsa explains. “We should talk, right? Swap stories or something.”

“It’s like you read my mind,” Nikki grabs the back of a receipt and scribbles down her number and address. When she’s finished, she passes it to Elsa. “How long are you in town?”

Elsa takes the receipt and tucks it into her back pocket. “Not sure yet,” she begins, and gives Nikki a look that implies it has just changed. “I’ll be in touch. Thanks for the bear claw.”

And she’s gone. As swiftly as she appeared. Yet, Nikki can’t stop smiling for the rest of her shift.

  
  
  


It starts with coffee hangs, then brunch and shopping together. They never run out of things to talk about, somehow. While a lot of it is about their pasts, they talk about their futures and what they hope for.

Elsa was born good and regained her goodness, which puts her at an advantage over Nikki. She wasn’t always consumed with darkness, she had only visited for a couple of months. But she sees a therapist weekly, where she was diagnosed with PTSD. Her therapist advised her to go travel, get out of Reefside, and so she did.

Nikki hadn’t ever considered therapy. She has Leelee, who has been such a champion in her corner, rooting for her to see the light, far longer than she thought was even an option. Leelee is so strong, so certain, about everything. It’s as if she took all of the good parts of Necrolai, if there were any, and went about her way.

But here was a new friend, who had to do it all on her own, thriving. Elsa is radiant, even in areas where she doesn’t have it all figured out.

She stayed as a principal at Reefside High, long after Mesogog was defeated. It was her way of reclaiming what was stolen from her. Making an honest mark and impact on the school, which she believes she did. It’s inspiring and makes Nikki think about what she can do for Briarwood.

  
  
  


One evening, Nikki invites Elsa over to the condo for dinner. It’s mainly for Leelee to meet her, but Toby is there too. They all sit at the table, food growing cold, as they swap stories and share laughter. Elsa is just as charming and vibrant as Nikki hoped she would be. It’s as if she’s always been here.

At one point, Leelee catches her eye across the table. She mouths, “I like her,” and Nikki feels her heart swell. She mouths back a “me too,” and sits back. Savoring every bit of the moment.

As dinner winds down, Nikki washes dishes in the kitchen. She feels a hand encircle her waist and looks over to see Toby. He kisses her neck. “Dinner was delicious, babe. I gotta run. Big day tomorrow.”

“Yes, the sidewalk sale thing,” she recalls, not hiding her inability to keep up with the latest happenings of the Rock Porium. It’s something new every day.

“BOGO,” he announces, before stealing a kiss. When she hears the door slams, she exhales. Getting lost in her own thoughts, which she hadn’t started doing until recently. She was so entranced, she didn’t realize a body slide in right next to her.

“No way, I’m almost done,” Nikki scolds playfully, letting a few laughs escape. She attempts to snatch the plate from Elsa’s hands, but Elsa extends her hand away. Despite their height difference, in Nikki’s favor, she’s unable to reach it. 

When she gives up, Elsa grins victoriously. “The host shouldn’t be the one washing dishes. That’s not how I was raised, were you?” Her words are light and teasing, but it gives Nikki pause.

As grateful as she is for Leelee getting to experience a normal, human life, it’s hard to deny the fact that she never had one or anything to base what “normal” even means. She was born into vampiredom and things she considered normal weren’t at all. In fact, they were very, very, very wrong and immoral.

Sensing a shift in her, Elsa removes the second pair of gloves she somehow found, and places a hand on the small of her back. Previously exclusive to Toby. “Come, let’s take a break.”

They end up on the couch, splitting a bottle of wine, as Nikki spills all of her uncertainties. How she so often feels like Leelee is the mother in their relationship. How she doesn’t know what she’s doing, how she can feel Toby falling more in love with her every day, but isn’t sure if diving into a relationship so soon in her reformation was the smartest idea.

“I wish I was more like you,” Nikki admits, blaming the swirling on her head on the half empty wine bottle. “You’re so… sure.”

Elsa laughs, taking another long sip from her glass. “Not at all, it’s all faking it until you make it.” She sets the glass on the coffee table and places a hand on Nikki’s thigh. At first, a comforting pat, but then it rests. Nikki wonders if she’s blaming the alcohol as well.

She glances down at her hand, then up at her eyes. Still just as warm and inviting as when she first witnessed them in the bakery. Though somehow, they seem bigger. Bolder. “Teach me,” she whispers.

Her words hang in the air, transforming within the silence into multiple meanings. The two of them stare at each other, daring one another to make the first move. A move neither of them knew was on the board until just now.

Then, a car passes by outside. Grounding them back to reality, to their current situation. Nikki looks away, downing the rest of her wine and standing up. “Water?” She asks, as she retreats into the kitchen, not waiting to hear Elsa’s response.

She thinks of Toby, thinks of Leelee, thinks of her life, how perfect everything is. If she had stayed in that room any longer, all of that would have unraveled. How quickly it could’ve all gone wrong.

Maybe being good doesn’t always feel good. Maybe it leaves you feeling horrible. Maybe it leaves you feeling empty. At least, that’s what she tried to convince herself of.

When she woke the next morning, with a slight headache, she wasn’t sure if it was due to the wine or her thoughts racing in her sleep. She peeled herself up and into the kitchen. Putting on a fresh pot. Within seconds, Leelee emerged.

“Morning,” she coos, grabbing her purse from the doorway. 

“Morning sweetie,” Nikki exclaims, her headache subsiding at the first sip. “I was thinking we could get breakfast in town today. Unless you have plans with Phineas?”

“Phineas and I broke up a month ago, Mom,” Leelee states coolly.

“What? What happened?”

“Nothing happened, it just didn’t work out.” It’s clear Leelee is already bored by the conversation, which only serves to pique Nikki’s interest.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because there wasn’t anything to say,” Leelee counters. “We’re still friends.”

Nikki feels a sensation bubbling inside her, as Leelee talks. Excitement. For the first time in awhile. “And that’s it? You’re just moving on.”

Leelee smirks, opening the front door. Before she leaves, she looks over her shoulder. “Sometimes you make life sound like such a burden to bear. We don’t have to listen to anyone anymore, remember?” It’s a rhetorical question, but Nikki feels it lingering long after Leelee leaves.

  
  
  


The break up with Toby is painless for her. He’s crushed, but puts on a brave face, to her surprise. He admits that he isn’t entirely surprised, that he knew them getting together was surprising. But then he promises to always be there if she needs him. She appreciates that at least.

  
  
  


When she stops by the inn Elsa is staying at, Elsa makes no confusion of her surprise. At the sight of Nikki’s smile, however, she smiles herself.

Nikki reaches over, taking Elsa’s hand in her own. She holds them up, lacing their fingers together. “I broke up with Toby,” she begins. 

Elsa raises her eyebrows. “Oh?” She struggles to hide her smile, though it’s bursting from her eyes. Those brown eyes.

Nikki’s smile never leaves her face. She lets out a content sigh. “Clearly, I don’t have all of the answers, but I’m learning that I don’t have to.”

Elsa holds up their hands, kissing the back of them. She looks up at Nikki. That daring expression popping up once again. “What else are you learning?”

Nikki lets go of their hands and cups Elsa’s face. She leans in, kissing her. Slow and cautious at first, all of the things she can’t yet vocalize, but meaningful nonetheless. When they part, they’re both smiling.

This is it, she thinks, the feeling she had been missing.


End file.
